Episodes

Sometimes the fuckwit doesn't fall far from the tree. In this episode we hear your terrible inlaw stories. The mother-in-law who asks what you did to make him cheat? The fat shaming. The enabling. The ghosting of grandchildren. So, if you're getting misty for the people you may have lost in the divorce, this episode will sober you up. Or hug the good people in your life a little tighter.

It's that time of year when it's hard for cheaters to maintain their double lives. Consequently, a lot of newly minted chumps are having D-Days during the holiday season. We hear from listeners how they survived the discoveries, the show-must-go-on family get togethers and oppressive bonhomie of social media.

Rep. Clay Higgins of Louisiana voted not to release the Epstein files. He was the only dissenting vote. Reportedly, he also owes over $140,000 in back child support to one of his ex-wives. (He's on his fourth wife.) Tracy and guest host Jenny of the Happy Hausfrau blog -- two women owed thousands in back child support -- discuss the Epstein scandal. The f*ckwits involved, the power dynamics, and why women's pain matters.

The holidays are coming and it's a good time to remember all the things you do not (or will not) miss about your cheating ex. We hear about puppets in church, obnoxious sneezing, and hair powder. Horrific hygiene and rage driving. Bizarre hobbies and bad attitudes. Sound engineer Beowulf does his best dramatic Grinchy Thurl Ravenscroft voice to read the list. Sarah and Tracy react in horror. Thank god, no more taxidermy.

We're back with Dr. Peter Salerno this week talking about his new book "." If you've been at the receiving end of abuse and were confused why unconditional love wasn't working, this episode is for you. Do some people enjoy being cruel? Is unkindess...

Tracy and Sarah react to your polyamory experiments. The open marriage stories keep coming... In this episode we hear about a man with two sister wives. (Literally). A polyamorous marriage that was one-sided, while he tomcatted around and left her with the kids. And a therapist who helps other people negotiate ethical non-monogamy while was unbeknownst married to a guy who practiced it unethically.

We asked listeners if they'd been propositioned by their partner to be in an open relationship, only to find they were being cheated on. The polyamory disaster stories are in!

In this episode we asked listeners for their Worst Exits Ever stories. The cheaters who abandoned the family at Christmas. Or during a health crisis. Or just days before a giant exam. During the third round of chemo. Or when the chump is pregnant with twins. What's going on? Are they maximizing the cruelty? Is it deliberate? The good news is, everyone who reported in said after the initial hardship, life is a lot better without a heartless loser.

Tracy interviews Gretchen Baskerville author of the book and blog "Life-Saving Divorce." Gretchen has been a visible critic of the "Reconciliation Industrial Complex" and Christian evangelical marriage retreats in particular. She's followed up with participants of expensive marriage intensives and found 7 in 10 later divorced or separated within the year. A stark contrast to the "your marriage can be saved in a WEEK" promotionals. Tracy and Gretchen discuss the victim-blaming and spiritual abus...

A recent news article discussed the increase in popularity of polyamory as an option on dating sites, while contrasting it with real life TV shows featuring polyamorous relationships, like Sister Wives, where the arrangement collapsed and they defaulted to monogamy. Sarah and Tracy compare notes on the impracticality of multiple sex partners in our middle-aged, busy lives. And also how "open marriage" is often on offer after you find out you were in one, but were the last to know.

Tracy talks with pyschologist Dr. Peter Salerno about the intersection of infidelity and personality disorders. A lot of conventional therapy assumes that clients lack insight into their behavior and that antisocial behavior is the result of childhood trauma. Dr. Salerno argues that this approach ignores the behavioral science of personality disorders. Manipulation, deception, and a pathological lack of remorse are hallmarks of narcissism and sociopathy and these abusive acts are intentional. An...

Chump Nation came up in an NPR discussion about how to define cheating. Unfortunately, the commentators seemed to have no lived experience or deep sunk costs with a cheater. The conversation centered on rejections like your boyfriend making out with someone else. Guest host Jenny the Happy Hausfrau blogger and Tracy defend the position that infidelity is a form of abuse and debunk the romanticism of cheating. You can hear the original discussion at NPR here: What Really Counts As Cheating?

What happens when you discover your teen or adult child has been cheated on? Do your kids navigate this better if you modeled good boundaries? Or is the chump condition heriditary? In this episode, Sarah discusses how her daughter Jess reacted when she discovered her boyfriend acting shady. The Universal Bullshit Translator makes its first podcast appearance as it digests Jess's boyfriend's waffly, lame excuses.

Sarah and Tracy hear from listeners about how their cheaters' affairs were exposed. (None of them by Jumbotron, alas.) Some affair partners outed the relationships to win the pick-me dance. In other cases, technology mishaps led to discovery. (Why don't these people learn how devices synch?) It's painful however you find out, but it's better to know than waster another minute being duped.

Guest cohost Jenny aka The Happy Hausfrau blogger and Tracy discuss the Bezo wedding extravangaza and what happens when affair partners marry. We hear from listeners about Schmoopie nupitals and what marriage means to the monogamy challenged.

It's the biggest cheating scandal of the year -- former Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and his subordinate HR Chief Kristin Cabot caught mid-canoodle by a Jumbotron "kiss cam." The world is reveling in schadenfreude, but what does it mean to the chumped? Vindication? A beautiful accountability fantasy come true? Sympathy for the kids involved? We hear from listeners about their feelings on the Jumbotron story and why cheater ridicule is having a moment.

Guest co-host Jenny aka the Happy Hausfrau blogger and Tracy snark about the guy who proposed marriage to his ChatGPT girlfriend, but not his live-in girlfriend and mother of his child. Are ChatGPT paramours the new frontier in AI cheating? How narcissistic is it to have a programmable girlfriend?

You never know what kind of reaction you'll get when you confront a cheater. On the one hand are the stone cold freaks with no adaptive anxiety. They lean into their lies and never break a sweat. Even in the face of hard evidence. Alternatively, are the cheaters who completely lose their composure. To the guy who had a meltdown and hopped away in a sleeping bag, to others who feign psychiatric crises. In this episode we hear about your cheaters' craziest reactions to being busted.

Besides the cheating, what else didn't you know about? Listeners tell us the details of their cheaters double lives beyond the sex. The missing monies. The hooker habit. An entire other family. Where there's one secret, you may find others.

In this episode Tracy gives her take on the news that Dave Grohl and his wife Jordyn Blum have decided to reconcile. While Grohl simultaneously has committed himself to being a "hands on" father with his daughter by his affair partner. Could we please change the discourse that single parents aren't family enough? And stop the assumption that everyone needs the FW in their lives? Just cash the check and live your own life.

Tracy and Sarah respond to a listener's dilemma about her husband. He's cheating with men, but swears he's not gay. She's trying to get him into sex addiction therapy. Also, a Fuckwit of the Week submission -- exotic vacations discoveries to which you weren't invited.

In this episode, we react to an atrocious column in the New York Times by therapist Lori Gottlieb, where a woman asks if she should be honest with her children about their father's cheating and the resulting divorce. Gottlieb shames the woman for even considering speaking of her betrayal and defers to the man's narrative instead. (You drove him to it.) Sarah and Tracy weigh in.

Did you thwart a cheater's happiness? Are you the obstacle to their greatness? In this episode Tracy and Sarah explore stupid cheater life plans. The grass is always greener on the other side of whatever they committed to. Including you. Listeners share the impulsive schemes and dreams, the alpaca farm, the missionary job that wasn't, and the lost opportunity to be a kiteboarder.

If you just discovered your partner cheating, chances are you got some common reconciliaton advice like "Wait 6 months before you make a decision." Or "Don't tell anyone." Or moronic warnings about "affair fog." (They know not what they do! Maybe if you wait patiently they'll return to you and it will Make Your Marriage Stronger!) In this episode, listeners tell us the worst, victim-blaming, nonsensical advice they got after D-Day.